Without Reservations
I started this blog in the hopes of founding a place to speak freely, and document my changes throughout the year. But it's almost the end of the year and I find that I have written very little about my year.
It was eventful in some ways, and in some ways I just felt like a little fish, stuck in the current of the river of life. A fish with not enough brain cells or physical power to change my path.
I don't know how to summarize 6 months of my life, but I will try.
May:
I spent this month in a bit of confusion, but I did two big things as well. I graduated, and I went on my first big trip without family or "adults" present. A friend and I traveled to New York, which was an experience. Mainly, we went to see Passion Pit. But also for pizza, Central Park, busy streets, and 25cent bananas.
June:
Beach.
July:
Beach. Camping. Hiking in the most depressing small town I have ever seen.
August:
Nerve wracking. Need to sign up for classes. Did sign up for classes. Now nervous about going to said classes. Went to classes. Enjoyed them. Thank God.
September: Classes. Volunteering at the fair. Austin.
October:
Where I am currently. I just celebrated the most chill birthday I remember, and I enjoyed it. Except for the part of me that says I need something more, but i'm trying to ignore that person as much as I possibly can. They frustrate the hell out of me, even though i have the bad habit of listening to them.
Right now, I am focused on what i need to be for myself. I have realized even more than i ever did before that i have subconsciously wanted to please people, but only those that i found "respect" for, yet now i know that i cannot manage to please them. i need to figure out life for myself, and that's the only way i'm going to be happy. i just don't really know where to start.
It was eventful in some ways, and in some ways I just felt like a little fish, stuck in the current of the river of life. A fish with not enough brain cells or physical power to change my path.
I don't know how to summarize 6 months of my life, but I will try.
May:
I spent this month in a bit of confusion, but I did two big things as well. I graduated, and I went on my first big trip without family or "adults" present. A friend and I traveled to New York, which was an experience. Mainly, we went to see Passion Pit. But also for pizza, Central Park, busy streets, and 25cent bananas.
June:
Beach.
July:
Beach. Camping. Hiking in the most depressing small town I have ever seen.
August:
Nerve wracking. Need to sign up for classes. Did sign up for classes. Now nervous about going to said classes. Went to classes. Enjoyed them. Thank God.
September: Classes. Volunteering at the fair. Austin.
October:
Where I am currently. I just celebrated the most chill birthday I remember, and I enjoyed it. Except for the part of me that says I need something more, but i'm trying to ignore that person as much as I possibly can. They frustrate the hell out of me, even though i have the bad habit of listening to them.
Right now, I am focused on what i need to be for myself. I have realized even more than i ever did before that i have subconsciously wanted to please people, but only those that i found "respect" for, yet now i know that i cannot manage to please them. i need to figure out life for myself, and that's the only way i'm going to be happy. i just don't really know where to start.
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