Journal entry 03-25-21

Journal entry 03-25-21 

Well, I'm feeling a bit down lately. A lot of things are building up in my brain and I can't seem to snap out of my funk. It's been really hard for me to study lately, too. I just want to sleep all the time. 

I have so many things that I always have to do. 

Some of it seems pointless. 

A lot of it I want to do but don't seem to have energy or time for- but I can't accept that because I know I have to push myself. I just wish I was happy with my life. I never seem to fully sink into the reality of my world. I wish I found joy in the things I think I will. For example- I love learning, and I expect to love school- but this semester feels like nothing but dread. I'm learning, but I'm doing the bare minimum. 

I guess because school is such a big part of my life- it's hard when I really don't enjoy it. And maybe if I had the right mindset I could enjoy it. But I don't. I don't hate it- but it's been so hard to sit down and study. I just want to do anything but study. And this is going to be my life for the next several years? That's disheartening.